© Auf Wiedersehen, Pet is copyright of ITV Studios, BBC & Franc Roddam.

‘I’ve got a couple of sesame seed bars if you’d like? ....’

Story Name - Bastard Planning Permission Author - Tracy Premise - An extended scene as featured in ‘No Sex Please We’re Brickies’.

Setting: Howard Radcliffe’s Office

Dennis is just leaving.

Dennis: "Be about half an hour." Closes door behind him.

Ally and Howard are seated and Howard pours another Whiskey for them both.

Ally: "Now Howard, how are we with your friends at the Council these days ?"

Howard: "Very well Ally but I cant keep pulling the 'Ally Fraser card' forever. I feel Im almost at the end of the welcome mat as it is."

Ally: "Actually Howard you will keep pulling the 'Ally Fraser card' as long as its the 'Ally Fraser card' that keeps paying your wages, do you

understand my friend ?!"

Howard: "But you must understand, there is only so much 'under the table' work I can get away with without arousing too much suspicion.

The law are already taking an interest in Thornley Manor and me for that matter !"

Ally: "Im sure I dont have to remind you Howard that it was your arousing, 'under the table' work with a certain young secretary who did not

happen to be your wife, that saw you working to my orders in the first place !"

Howard sighs: "Yes Ally, I dont need reminding -" Cut short;

Ally: "And I believe the result of that arousing liaison has recently started school. You're going to need every penny son so when it comes to

cutting corners, never mind the appeasement of Dennis and his band of brothers, you keep rrright on cutting, do I make myself clear Howard


Howard: "Perfectly clear Ally, thank you !"

Ally sips Whiskey: "Very good and I believe you're still seeing this lass ?"

Howard: "On and off yes. Some habits are hard to break."

Ally: "On and off indeed. And I take it the current Mrs Radcliffe is still unaware ?"

Howard: "Correct. I've learnt a lot from being in your employ. Especially in the area of hidden cameras !"

Ally smiles and laughs: "George Orwell wasnt too far wrong afterall. We make a good team Howard, lets just keep it that way."

Ally takes another drink.

Howard: "Does Dennis have any clue about the eventual plans for the Manor ? Derbyshire's answer to the Playboy Mansion ?"

Ally: "Thats between you, me and Malcolm for the time being. Dennis has about as much clue as his toothless chin-artist has about

Leonardo da Vinci. As long as it stays that way, all will be sweet as honey."

Howard: "Not a honey-trap ?"

Ally: "Careful Howard, that was you're downfall !"

Howard: "As I know only too well !"

Both laugh knowingly and have another drink. Scene fades out.

The End.