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Story Name -
Christmas Eve in The Hut
The lads are spending Christmas in the Hut, so Barry decides to become festive.
Setting: The Hut, Düsseldorf.
Christmas Eve morning in the Hut and Barry comes charging in carrying shopping bags.
"Lads, lads, look what I've got! I've been down the old town, look what I've bought!"
- "Go on, dazzle wor...."
- "I've had this brill idea, roight. I'm gonna make us all a Yule log!"
- "A what?"
- "A Yule log."
- "Ah, divvent bother with all that Barry man, if it's a Yule log you're after, I've just left one of them in the bog!" He he!
- "Very funny Oz, very funny.(rolls eyes) "A Yule log, Moxey is a traditional Christmas cake in the shape of a log, covered in
chocolate and decorated with holly and such like. It's very festive!"
- "Chocolate! That's not a man's cake!"
- "Well I always thought a fruit cake was traditional at Christmas. Brenda always makes a fruit cake, like."
- "Oh no, Neville, under no circumstances can I make a fruit cake! It's the nuts, you see. A fruit cake has to have nuts in it and I
for one cannot go anywhere near a nut. I've got anaphylactic shock syndrome, I have!"
- "Anna who?"
-(tuts and rolls eyes) "What do you mean, Anna who! Anaphylactic shock syndrome! It's a bloody allergy,innit, nerk!" If any kind
of nut comes near me,I blow up like a puffer fish! Me throat swells up and everything! A packet of peanuts could kill me!!"no no, a Yule
log it is, take it or leave it.
- "Well I'll leave it then, son. Bad for the image, eating cake. Now if it's crumpet your talking about, well that's a whole new ball
game, innit, he he!"
- "Trust you , Wayne to sully the festive season with cheap sexual innuendo, it's pathetic!"
- "Look Barry, man if I were you I'd forget all about your bloody Yule log. It may have escaped your notice but the hut's not got a
cooker, has it. So I don't know how your gonna bake your bloody cake!"
- "Oh, bloody hell! I never thought of that, did I! What the piggin hell am I supposed to do with this turkey!!!" (Pulls a massive
Turkey out of a carrier bag) the lads all burst out laughing.
- "Well Barry, I'd say you were S T U double F E D !!!"
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