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Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

General chat about all things Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.

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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by Londongal1983 » Tue Aug 03, 2021 11:55 am

racesgirl2000 wrote:
Sat Oct 24, 2020 8:00 am
Dennis arrives home to find a few letters on the floor. He picks one up, opens it and reads it only to realise it's from his son Kevin who he hadn't seen since the lad ran away from Vera in 1989.

Kevin's voice: Dear Dad,
It has been a while since I last saw you. Sir, your friend Oz told me where you live these days and I need to meet you at the George at 8:00pm. I'm planning to come and visit you at your place for a while. I've been given a couple of weeks leave from the army and my unit's being stationed in Sunderland. And oh yeah, Dad, can you kept it on the down low. That means don't tell anyone I'm coming back and that means Christine, Aunty Norma and Angela.
Your ever loving son,
Lieutenant Kevin Patterson, Royal Army.

Dennis smiles as he reads the letter again.

Dennis: I'll be there, Kevin lad.

The following evening around 7:45pm. Dennis walks into the George pub and orders a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale. He doesn’t seem to recognise anyone in the pub and they donʼt recognise him. Shortly afterwards, a lad in his late 40s walks in and heads straight over to Dennis’ table...

Man: Are you Dennis Patterson?

Dennis: Might be, who’s asking? And what’s this all aboot? I never slept a wink last night - you’re not one of Ally Fraser’s debt collectors are ya, ha ha?

Man: Eh?

Dennis: Nevermind. Carry on…

Man: Er well, you obviously don’t know me but I know you. My name is Kevin and I'm your son, like.

Dennis: Hell's bollocks. Mind, I’m not surprised. My kids are strangers these days.

Kevin: Your ex Christine and Angela said that you don’t see much of each other.

Dennis: Aye, well maybes all that’ll change if Angela lets me see her oldest Deni again. It took balls to ask me, son, did she put you up to this?

Kevin: Nah, it was me brother-in-law Frank Jordan, me wife Cheryl and me bairns Belinda, Jason and Rachel, like. His dad thought that me seeing you again was the right thing to do. Said he would be none-too-impressed if I never found you.

Dennis: So who told you to track me doon and don't say it was your mutha.

Kevin: She's been dead since 2009 and I reckon he'll be chuffed but I think Angela might be happy too.

Dennis: Well, this calls for a celebration. What you drinking, son?

Kevin: I’ll have a pint of brown, cheers!

Dennis: So, what do you do for work, like?

Kevin: The letter told you, I'm an army lieutenant.

Dennis: So you’re a good lad, an army lad and I'm now a bloody grandfather. Is there something you’re not telling me? (smiles)

Kevin: Nae, Dad. What you see is what you get! Pretty boring really. Oh and I support the toon as well obviously!

Dennis: Pleased to hear it. Another loyal fan condemned to a life of misery. So I take it you were in Iraq?

Kevin: Aye, I'm a war hero aroond here, I am. Just wish that bitch I called a mam didn't lie aboot ya.

Dennis: How do you mean?

Kevin: Well, you didn’t hear this from me but she told me and our Angela that Ally Fraser murdered you in Spain in 1985.

Dennis: I kna who that bastard is, like! What the hell did she lie to ya and ya sister about bollocks like that?

Kevin: She was evil but you didn’t hear this from me. I’m just worried about Angela, like.

Dennis: Hell’s Bollocks!

Kevin: Hell's bollocks is reet but donʼt go it alone. Me and Angela need to kna ya again.

Dennis: Don’t worry, son, I’ll not do anything daft - I’m too old and past it for that.
That sort I like
Did you do that?

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