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Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

General chat about all things Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.

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BarryTaylor
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by BarryTaylor » Sun Dec 08, 2013 2:00 pm

Fiona too if ya like!
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Drives an "automatic Metro"....

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Hedley Irwin
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by Hedley Irwin » Mon Dec 09, 2013 10:09 am

I cannit see me liking a show called Newcastle!
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I need some slippers, and some soap

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Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by Auf Wiedersehen, Pet » Mon Dec 09, 2013 4:43 pm

Why not like?
Is it the danger, does the thought of ya getting ya knees shattered give you a great big bonk on or summat?
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Tracy
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by Tracy » Tue Dec 24, 2013 6:42 pm

McGowans pissed off with the I-pod !
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Hedley Irwin
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by Hedley Irwin » Wed Dec 25, 2013 1:59 pm

BarryTaylor wrote:Fiona too if ya like!
Fiona? That's a Scottish name isn't it?
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I need some slippers, and some soap

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Hallwood
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by Hallwood » Mon Feb 24, 2014 8:59 pm

The Erasmus Mark 20 tablet.

Now, it only has a monochrome screen, 256Mb of storage and costs twice as much as the iPad. So what can we say is the unique selling point?

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Tracy
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by Tracy » Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:50 pm

It works underwater !
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BarryTaylor
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by BarryTaylor » Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:37 pm

Hallwood wrote:The Erasmus Mark 20 tablet.

Now, it only has a monochrome screen, 256Mb of storage and costs twice as much as the iPad. So what can we say is the unique selling point?
It comes in an attractive range of colours; Brown, Sable, Beige, Fawn and Grey.....
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racesgirl2000
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by racesgirl2000 » Sat Jan 18, 2020 3:41 pm

I think Barry and Tatiana split up when she had an affair with his arch rival so he remarried Hazel and they raised the kid who turned out to be a girl called Valentina who prefers to be called Val, Rod went straight and married a girl called Amy and they have twins, a boy called Jamie and a girl called Amy, Moxey married Elena when he discovered that she had a bad rep as a teenager, Oz finally married Vicki, Neville and Brenda retired to the Highlands, Dennis married a rich American lady named Lorraine, Ally died from a heart attack in Marbella and Wyman became a DJ on Kiss FM. Just toying with ideas on top of a few shots, maybes not such a good idea
Last edited by racesgirl2000 on Mon Jan 20, 2020 2:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Oi oi, what's the word then

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Tracy
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by Tracy » Mon Jan 20, 2020 7:36 am

Bushfires in Australia ! Oh dear ... :cry:
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racesgirl2000
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by racesgirl2000 » Mon Jan 20, 2020 2:33 pm

Tracy wrote:
Mon Jan 20, 2020 7:36 am
Bushfires in Australia ! Oh dear ... :cry:
You can't blame me for trying, you know but here's my idea for a female reboot:

Dennis/Denise: Sharon Percy
Neville/Neve: Aimee Kelly
Oz/Liv: Katherine Monaghan
Wayne/Wendy: Jacqueline Jossa
Moxey/Lexi: Rachel McDowall
Barry/Billie: Zoe Dawson
Bomber: Linzi Drew

Brenda/Ben: Chris Ramsey
Vicki/Virgil: Craig Gazey
Christine/Chris: Chris Robson
Hazel/Harry: Ryan Cartwright
Ally/Allie: Blythe Duff
Big Baz/Big Beth: Gwendoline Christie
Kenny/Kelly: Amanda Redman

Or a rebooted version:

Dennis: Joe Thomas
Neville: Chris Ramsey
Oz: Rafe Spall
Wayne: John Boyega
Moxey: Jay McGuiness
Barry: Sean Kamisky
Bomber: Stephen Merchant

Brenda: Michelle Keegan
Vicki: Paloma Faith
Christine: Shivani Ghai
Hazel: Martha Howe Douglas
Ally: Joe McFadden
Big Baz: DeObia Oparei
Kenny: Shane Richie
Oi oi, what's the word then

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Londongal1983
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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by Londongal1983 » Sat May 09, 2020 7:16 am

racesgirl2000 wrote:
Sat Jan 18, 2020 3:41 pm
I think Barry and Tatiana split up when she had an affair with his arch rival so he remarried Hazel and they raised the kid who turned out to be a girl called Valentina who prefers to be called Val, Rod went straight and married a girl called Amy and they have twins, a boy called Jamie and a girl called Amy, Moxey married Elena when he discovered that she had a bad rep as a teenager, Oz finally married Vicki, Neville and Brenda retired to the Highlands, Dennis married a rich American lady named Lorraine, Ally died from a heart attack in Marbella and Wyman became a DJ on Kiss FM. Just toying with ideas on top of a few shots, maybes not such a good idea
I agree with that lot and Kevin became a rock star
Did you do that?

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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by ruggedscot » Sun May 17, 2020 11:56 am

A ringing of a mobile phone breaks the silence, its dark, Oz clambers for the phone on the bedside, it drops off onto the floor.

hells bollocks is muttered as he feels in the darkness for the phone grabbing it he draws it up hits answer and puts it to his ear. This better be important he mutters into the phone....

Hello ! is that you Oz, a very distant Dennis says....
Aye it is Dennis its my phone, who did you think you would answer Ayatollah ?

Dennis laughs

What can I do for you Dennis ?

Oz checks his watch and sees it's 3 o'clock in the morning.

I know you gave the last jig a miss, but I need a hand and Id not call you if it wasn't important. Ive heard from Barry, he's in Azerbaijan the now, got an email from him and he's got wind of some news that he thinks would interest us both.... could be a fair bit of money involved.

But its 3 am Dennis.... 3 am....

Ah know that Oz, that's why Im calling, you need to get dressed and load up your tools in the Sierra....

Mondeo Dennis, Mondeo....

But why at 3 am?

Because there is money in Azerbaijan.... and we need to make a start.

Neville ? Aye Ive come off the phone to him and hes on his way over to you just now. hell be on the city bypass....

Your a bit pretentious Dennis eh ?

Im the gaffa Oz so git going... get oot yer pit grab yer passport and tools as were on the job again.....

Aye aye aye man Ill get ready, when will Neville be here...

Oz's flat's door intercom sounder chirps... Jezzuz Dennis he's here....

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Re: Auf Wiedersehen Pet TODAY

Post by ruggedscot » Sun May 24, 2020 1:21 pm

Neville speaks saying Oi Oz you might have put on some trousers..... you didn't know who it was, could have been anyone..

Aye Nev, It could have been the bollocking Ayatollah... come on it, its feezing…

It will no be feezing in Abu Dhabi, we will be there later on today, got tickets sorted, just a change over. then Durban.

Durban ? mutters Oz, Aye Durban, Connections to meet in Durban, some guy that has a bit of work needing doing, sensitive like, but needs to see us in Durban. Go through whats required. Aye did you hear about Dennis, sly old dog... lol

Dennis, whats he been doing like ? Oz asks Neville He's waiting in Durban. For us. replied Neville

I thought it was Azerbaijan, Oz mutters, Aye it is, but we need to head to Durban first, that the headquarters of the company that's doing the work over in Azerbaijan, A guy there said he knew of a team of guys that could do it for a good price and would be able to mobilize on short notice. If the price was right... Go on Nev spill the beans... says Oz

Well get yer clothes on and get packing ill make us a coffee...

Neville fills the kettle and gets some mugs out of the sink and dries them. Dennis has a debt to clear, Oh that sounds familiar indeed Nev. Another one ? Nah Oz....

Nah ? What do you mean like thought he settled up with that guy Ricky, Nah that was Micky, Micky Startup, that's sorted, There was a fire, one of his places burned down and he was in it, he'd locked the doors and couldn't get out. pity that. he was such a nice guy.... A fire ? Where was Moxey ? Ha ha ha Oz very drool.... Moxey was in Oz. No indeed he wasn't.... Moxey has never been in moi…. Na Oz he was in Australia.

Aye then who was the debt owed to then... gambling again.

Aye Oz but hes not gambling again. remember Ali Fraser ?

Ali Bloody Fraiser, thought he was in Edinburgh ?

Well he is and he is in Edinburgh and we need to be in Edinburgh too.... like in a few hours. Were getting the afternoon flight to Abu Dhabi tomorrow so we need to be up in Edinburgh as were meeting Ali for a bite tonight got a few things he wants to discuss...

That weasel... what does he want us for ? Has he got a nursing home in Azerbaijan ? Oz says as hes packing his things into a couple of rucksacks,

Nawwwww Oz believe it or not he runs prisons ! Prisons... You told Moxey ? nah Oz not yet... We want him on board lol.

Anyways Oz you have your bank details ? Ive got some money to give you, if your in, to cover incidentals. can do it here Ill just deposit the £1500 in. Ok Nev ta.

Right Oz we need to make tracks man, You got everything ? Aye Nev, got it all packed in. Lets go. both finish up the coffee and start to lock up Oz's flat.

Both walk away from the flat, and go towards Neville's car. Nice motor Nev, The boot opens and the ruck sacks are put in.

Both get in the car and shut the doors Neville starts the car and moves off, Oz you got your passport...

Hells Bollocks Man. stop the car ! Oh Oz man, hurry up, that bypass will be busy. Calm yer sel doon Nev. were no going until tomorrow. Aye but we have to see Ali fraser. and he don't like being messed about.

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