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If only the lads Swore!!
Moderators: Howard Radcliff, AWP Corsa Tim, RHill
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- Apprentice
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2013 7:35 pm
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If only the lads Swore!!
As a family show AWP has always been free of extreme profanity, and rightly so. However, I sometimes like to spice things up a bit by imagining some heated moments producing some stronger vocabulary!
E.g Wayne: " did you frow that you Fxxxing lunatic?"
Or perhaps :
"Who wants to go and see a fxxxing waterfall?"
Of course our heroes would never stoop so low would they?
E.g Wayne: " did you frow that you Fxxxing lunatic?"
Or perhaps :
"Who wants to go and see a fxxxing waterfall?"
Of course our heroes would never stoop so low would they?
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- Apprentice
- Posts: 11
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Re: If only the lads Swore!!
Agga-f*****g-do !!!
Re: If only the lads Swore!!
They are so funny, witty and loveable, they wouldn't need to use such bad language. I mean they are sophisticated blokes you kna. If Oz had shouted to the tv screen: "Yee baldy auld c**t!", lots of respectable pensioners watching it around the UK would of choked on their Murray Mints.
- Ally Frasers clubs
- Brickie
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2012 2:02 pm
- Location: Hull
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- Breaking Away
- Top Rank Brickie
- Posts: 3108
- Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2013 8:57 pm
- Location: New Zealand
- Status: Offline
Re: If only the lads Swore!!
Wayne: Hello Mrs 'ilton. My name's Wayne.
Mr 'ilton: He comes from Germany.
Mrs 'ilton: Oh. Oh, it's not about the f@*^#* roof then?
Mr 'ilton: He knew Hedley.
Mrs 'ilton: That c*#t.
Wayne: Yeah. Some of me mates met him in this hospital.
Mr 'ilton: He's dead Mabel.
Mrs 'ilton: Thank f#@k for that. Put the kettle on dear.
Mr 'ilton: He comes from Germany.
Mrs 'ilton: Oh. Oh, it's not about the f@*^#* roof then?
Mr 'ilton: He knew Hedley.
Mrs 'ilton: That c*#t.
Wayne: Yeah. Some of me mates met him in this hospital.
Mr 'ilton: He's dead Mabel.
Mrs 'ilton: Thank f#@k for that. Put the kettle on dear.

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- Legal Advisor
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:46 am
- Location: The shitehouses of the Loire
- Status: Offline
Re: If only the lads Swore!!
If they did swear, we wouldn't have such classic lines like, 'I'd have been reet up that boilers tubes.' Instead Oz might have said, 'I was on to give that tart a reet good f¥€#ing.'
Shut ya yak will ya man, you snivelling little git.
We're sophisticated blokes us, ya know.
We're sophisticated blokes us, ya know.
- Breaking Away
- Top Rank Brickie
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- Location: New Zealand
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Re: If only the lads Swore!!
If they did swear, I wouldn't be on this forum now. There is no way my parents would have let me watch 30 years ago.

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- Legal Advisor
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:46 am
- Location: The shitehouses of the Loire
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Re: If only the lads Swore!!
What a load of bollocks man.Breaking Away wrote:If they did swear, I wouldn't be on this forum now. There is no way my parents would have let me watch 30 years ago.

Shut ya yak will ya man, you snivelling little git.
We're sophisticated blokes us, ya know.
We're sophisticated blokes us, ya know.
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- Gaffer
- Posts: 786
- Joined: Sat Dec 22, 2012 2:24 pm
- Status: Offline
Re: If only the lads Swore!!
Im glad it wasn't full of swearing. Bollocks and Bastard sound so much better coming from a geordie.

Hey thats a canny jumper man!
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- Gaffer
- Posts: 1833
- Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:14 am
- Location: West London, near Oz's original flat!
- Status: Offline
Re: If only the lads Swore!!
Breaking Away wrote:Wayne: Hello Mrs 'ilton. My name's Wayne.
Mr 'ilton: He comes from Germany.
Mrs 'ilton: Oh. Oh, it's not about the f@*^#* roof then?
Mr 'ilton: He knew Hedley.
Mrs 'ilton: That c*#t.
Wayne: Yeah. Some of me mates met him in this hospital.
Mr 'ilton: He's dead Mabel.
Mrs 'ilton: Thank f#@k for that. Put the kettle on dear.




Re: If only the lads Swore!!



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- Plumber
- Posts: 180
- Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 12:41 pm
- Location: On a building site in Turkey.
- Status: Offline
Re: If only the lads Swore!!
Suspicion
Dennis: You're a queer one, you!
Oz: Not so f@*\ing much of the queer, thank you!
Oz: (Upon seizing Wayne's hand) Got him!
Wayne: You f@*\ing lunatic!
Dennis: You're a queer one, you!
Oz: Not so f@*\ing much of the queer, thank you!
Oz: (Upon seizing Wayne's hand) Got him!
Wayne: You f@*\ing lunatic!
GET BAAAAAAAACK!
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- Gaffer
- Posts: 962
- Joined: Tue Apr 30, 2013 2:08 pm
- Location: North Wales
- Status: Offline
Re: If only the lads Swore!!
Barry came close in 'A Home From Home', "What the F...!", great scene which was brilliantly played by Tim Spall.
When you think about it, it seems strange we didn't hear the odd F word, seven grown men on a building site it's bound to slip out some time. Also if it went out originally at 9pm I'm surprised the F word wasn't used from time to time. Although I'm not complaining as it didn't really need it just a thought I had.
When you think about it, it seems strange we didn't hear the odd F word, seven grown men on a building site it's bound to slip out some time. Also if it went out originally at 9pm I'm surprised the F word wasn't used from time to time. Although I'm not complaining as it didn't really need it just a thought I had.

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- Gaffer
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Re: If only the lads Swore!!
As I remember, hearing 'bollocks' on TV (even after 9pm) was a novelty back in 1983, and was indeed part of the reason why the show became such a hit. Heavier swearing was almost unheard of on TV back then.
- racesgirl2000
- Boozer
- Posts: 332
- Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2019 2:43 pm
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Re: If only the lads Swore!!
I would've loved it if one of the guys told Ally Fraser "Shut your raggedy ass up and sit the !*@$ down"
Oi oi, what's the word then