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The 10 Pet Commandments.

General chat about all things Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.

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The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by Auf Wiedersehen, Pet » Fri May 09, 2014 7:24 pm

Whilst watching Weekend Escapes with Warwick Davis and the people taking Jedi as their religion, I actually thought (I've had a few drinks) that we should all follow the 10 Pet Commandments!

Just so you know, I'll be picking the best 10 and asking Tracy to kindly carve these on 2 large flat stones for display in my garden.

I'll kick it off with;

1. Thou shalt not do it with a mates bird, not at 3 in the afternoon.

Can I have your attention please. I as the returning officer for the Beco Building Site...alright, alright....and the winner is..!

Here are the '10 Commandments' a true 'Aufaholic' should be following.

1. Thou shalt not do it with a mates bird, not at 3 in the afternoon.
2. Thou shalt not forget to get fresh milk.
3. Thou shalt not get a tattoo with another judys name on it.
4. Thou shalt not let wine/chianti/etc breathe, just hurl it down wor necks!
5. Thou shalt not break wind, unless it's underneath the sheets.
6. Thou shalt not be seen in a supermarket, unless its for the booze and bog rolls.
7. Thou shalt not live in a pink hut.
8. Thou shalt not get in a strangers car, even if it is a BMW!
9. Thou shalt not visit the porn cinema when you are supposed to be spending Sundays at home with your family.
10. Thou shalt not rubbish my area, I live here and you don't!

Who voted Yellow?!
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Tracy
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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by Tracy » Fri May 09, 2014 8:00 pm

2. Thou shalt not live in a pink hut.
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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by shirley pollard » Fri May 09, 2014 8:04 pm

3.thou shalt not annoy dogs!
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that's a canny jumper man !

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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by Auf Wiedersehen, Pet » Fri May 09, 2014 8:12 pm

4. Thou shalt not get in a strangers car, even if it is a BMW.
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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by Hedley Irwin » Fri May 09, 2014 8:31 pm

Thou shalt not give others a hand if thou art in the wrong Union
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I need some slippers, and some soap

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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by RHill » Fri May 09, 2014 8:32 pm

Thou shalt not be a stripper, even if your body's not too bad.

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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by HerrPfister » Fri May 09, 2014 9:51 pm

Though shalt not take advantage of thy boss' absence to bugger off to Wolverhampton for a few days...& thy should definitely not take said boss' Jag, which Billy informs me now has a crumpled rear wing... etc etc
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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by shirley pollard » Sat May 10, 2014 6:41 am

Thou shalt not use pringles phone
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that's a canny jumper man !

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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by HerrPfister » Sat May 10, 2014 8:19 am

Norma is the boss around here - thou shalt do as she says!
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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by Ping Pong Pippa » Sat May 10, 2014 10:02 am

Thou shalt not eat Wayne's last banger

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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by RHill » Sat May 10, 2014 1:54 pm

Thou shalt not trust Moxey to wake me up while I'm under the sun lamp.

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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by Lou » Sat May 10, 2014 3:01 pm

Thou shalt not forget to get fresh milk.
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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by dan slider » Sat May 10, 2014 3:04 pm

Thou shall not let Moxey start a fire!
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Hey thats a canny jumper man!

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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by Lou » Sat May 10, 2014 3:15 pm

Thou shalt not kick the jukebox in with your hobnail boots.
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Re: The 10 Pet Commandments.

Post by Lou » Sat May 10, 2014 3:16 pm

Thou shalt not get a tattoo with another judys name on it
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