Talking Pet In Real Life

[Hedley Irwin]

Any time I come in from outside when its been raining heavily, I'll announce "hey, I nearly drowned out there"

[fitzherbert C]

Having given up smoking last year and geting towards middle age i often find myself using the phrase "how come they only make clobber these days to fit micheal jackson" it get mixed reviews in primark especially now MJ is now longer with us, but its such a classic quote i could not change it.

i do look good in the italian paratrooper gear though

[Breaking Away]

I've just walked into my local cossi club and was asked if I was a member. Yes I said. There was a pause before she said anything.
Like to see my papers would you?

[Auf Wiedersehen, Pet]

Cossi Club? Er, whats that then?

[RHill]

We should all install some small hidden cameras in our jackets and go around Aufing people and sharing our amusing moments on here.

[Auf Wiedersehen, Pet]

I have started saying....'IT MUST BE BLOODY IMPORTANT!...." a lot, as in Oz when hes shouting at Nev because Brenda is putting the squeeze on him..

"What she got you saving up for that's so important, it must be bloody important, if ya'll ditch your own good working mates....."

[AlreetPal]

I delivered to a customer called Mrs. H Bellamy today, and she had a retriever dog.

Laughed, I nearly bought my own beer.

[Breaking Away]

Cossi Club? Er, whats that then?

Cosmopolitan Club (where Brenda gets all her ideas from) would be the same as a Working Men's Club I believe.

[HerrPfister]

Cossi Club? Er, whats that then?

Cosmopolitan Club (where Brenda gets all her ideas from) would be the same as a Working Men's Club I believe.

Ah, where Audrey Harmison strips...

[Breaking Away]

I really hope she's retired...

[Hallwood]

I work in a warehouse, and if a forklift driver is taking too long and holding me up, I'll sometimes say "overtime the neet, eh?"

[Musta bin Elbowed]

Cosmopolitan Club (where Brenda gets all her ideas from) would be the same as a Working Men's Club I believe.

Cosmopolitan magazine - for the woman of today

I work in a warehouse, and if a forklift driver is taking too long and holding me up, I'll sometimes say "overtime the neet, eh?"

I sometimes say that to a checkout girl in Tesco if the person in front of me is fannying about trying to find their money or redeem dozens of money-off coupons!

[Big baz]

Ah strawberries said in tesco today!

[The Magnificent 7]

Got myself a bowl of cereal this morning, went over to the fridge to find we didn't have any milk so I thought that this was the perfect opportunity to use "Who forgot to get fresh milk!". Complete with Geordie accent, nobody was around to hear it though.

[Musta bin Elbowed]

I experienced a kind of reverse aufing this morning. The guy who runs my local newsagents inadvertently aufed me. He sounds a bit like Sandro Gadgie anyway (although he's not Italian, I think he's Spanish). Today he incorrectly rang up my paper and bottle of water as £24.50 and when he realised he said "Oh....I start again."

Straight away I was thinking "Dave... start again!"