Talking Pet In Real Life

[The Magnificent 7]

I was in the pub last week looking at the jukebox and I really wanted to shout over to the bloke behind the bar "How often do you get these records changed lad?".

I often use the Howay Kettle quote.

Last year my dad was making a fence for the front garden and he asked me to saw some wood for him, to which I replied "Dad man, I'm not a carpenter man".

When the phone goes I'll check the caller ID and if its someone I know I'll answer by saying "Hello Intercontinental" or "Hello Pattersons House".

[Musta bin Elbowed]

I wish I'd sent that reply to my boss now but I didnt want to get me cards from Grunwald

[AlreetPal]

I was in the pub last week looking at the jukebox and I really wanted to shout over to the bloke behind the bar "How often do you get these records changed lad?".

I often use the Howay Kettle quote.

Last year my dad was making a fence for the front garden and he asked me to saw some wood for him, to which I replied "Dad man, I'm not a carpenter man".

When the phone goes I'll check the caller ID and if its someone I know I'll answer by saying "Hello Intercontinental" or "Hello Pattersons House".

Some times when I answer the works mobile I begin with, 'Hello Pattersons residence.' Had on more than one occassion the person on the other end to apologise for calling the wrong number.

[HerrPfister]

It would be great if one day you happened to answer to a fan, & he menacingly pretended to be Ally Fraser! ...

[Tracy]

Oh dont fart me around Pfister, where is my money ???

[HerrPfister]

I've got your readies. All I need is your trust...

[Tracy]

Trust ? Weve all been victims of trust !

[Breaking Away]

"Working like a black man"
Mixed reviews

[Sgt Ives]

We were in Spain the past week and met a group of German girls who were referred to as 'the erics' for a week

"donkey shite to you to pal" was used on a few occasions.

they lived near Munster, my mate turned to me during a conversation about how nice the part of spain we were in was "if it wasn't for me you'd be freezing your arse off in Munster or Koblentz by now"

and we always use the series 3 barry to nev line of
" You like the ladies don'tcha nev "
"no more than most "
"....ohh i think you do " , for just about anything

" you like a sangria don'tcha nev "

[Hedley Irwin]

"Ah, me toast" in a brummie accent gets a regular airing if I burn it or drop it on the floor

[Musta bin Elbowed]

On the train home from work just now I was talking to a stranger doesnt happen much in London...

When it got to my stop without thinking at all I skipped off like Oz in Cuba and said "Anyway, buenos dias"

[Auf Wiedersehen, Pet]

There reply?

[Musta bin Elbowed]

I dunno, I said it as I was hopping away Oz-style

[peng50]

Just come back from Spain for a weeks Holiday... As you can imagine I drove the
family mad with loads of inputs from Series 2, my favourtie would be to walk ahead
of the family and wait for them in reception and shout as they walked in "cocktails
at 6... and Bingo at 7"

One night we decided to eat in the room and got one of those take away chickens
that seem very popular over there, anyway when we got it back to the room it was
piping hot so the mrs left it on the side of the table to cool for a bit. A few minutes
later one of the kids was reaching over the table for something, and knocked the
chicken onto the floor... I immediately picked it up and said "awww you've bashed
all the wing in man... how am I supposed to get that fixed before ally gets back"
The Youngest who is just 5 and didn't have a clue what I was on about,
immediately said "whose ally"... couldn't have scripted it better myself

[Auf Wiedersehen, Pet]

Just come back from Spain for a weeks Holiday... As you can imagine I drove the
family mad with loads of inputs from Series 2, my favourtie would be to walk ahead
of the family and wait for them in reception and shout as they walked in "cocktails
at 6... and Bingo at 7"

One night we decided to eat in the room and got one of those take away chickens
that seem very popular over there, anyway when we got it back to the room it was
piping hot so the mrs left it on the side of the table to cool for a bit. A few minutes
later one of the kids was reaching over the table for something, and knocked the
chicken onto the floor... I immediately picked it up and said "awww you've bashed
all the wing in man... how am I supposed to get that fixed before ally gets back"
The Youngest who is just 5 and didn't have a clue what I was on about,
immediately said "whose ally"... couldn't have scripted it better myself

Totally brilliant!