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If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

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peng50
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If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by peng50 » Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:29 pm

Take any scene from series 1 or 2 and either explain how different it would be today, or change the words in the script to fit in... I'll start off with the following:

Oz, Neville and Dennis in the motorway cafe...

Oz: Aww another Text Message is it neville
Den: Told Brenda he'd keep in touch
Oz: Keep in touch, he sent the first one in darlington man... you're gonna blow all
your money on phone credit lad.

I've got a few more but I'll save them for now in case anyone else thinks of them.

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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by Si » Tue Jun 18, 2013 4:37 pm

Great stuff :D

-------

Dennis: Well, I can only assume it was some sort of administrative cock-up?
Ulrich: Was?
Dennis: Well, a mistake, blunder like, with the agent?
Ulrich: I think not.

(Ulrich clicks his computer mouse and begins scrolling)

My requirement is always exact. I cannot believe the agent would make a mistake.
Dennis: Look, he's handling people from all over Germany. I mean there's 30,000 of us working over here. Bound to be the odd error like.
Ulrich: Herr Pfister is most dependable! (Looks at monitor, double clicks mouse) Ja, here is my email sent to Herr Pfister dated August 4th. My requirement is exact. Carpenters three. Plasterers five, he sent four only, one come today. Bricklayers, 2 only. There is no 'cock-up'.
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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by Auf Wiedersehen, Pet » Tue Jun 18, 2013 4:40 pm

Oz - "Er, turned round and keep ya eyes shut.."
Dennis - "Eh?.."
Oz - "Turn round and keep ya eyes shut...."

Dennis and Neville turned round.

Oz - "Are ya eyes shut?.."
Dennis - "Aye..."
Oz - "Are ya sure?.."
Dennis and Neville - "Aye!..."
Oz - "Der, der, der...cush!....What d'ya think a that?
Dennis - "What is it?.."
Oz - "It's an Ipad Den man....Look its got touch screen technology, twin speakers up top, and a big flat screen toy telly..."
Dennis - "You're mad you...!, that must a cost you at least a weeks wages.."
Oz - "No it hasn't....I'm a lot more responsible than what you think Dennis yer knaw....I mean I knaw I've got commitments, I mean a wouldn't do all me wages on this, without keeping some back...for the Sunderland Liege game....."

Shortened version.
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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by Musta bin Elbowed » Tue Jun 18, 2013 4:59 pm

Err, Wayne, can ah borrow yer thingy?
Fink I might be needin it meself squire.
Nah man, ah mean ya watchacallit.... yer iPod.

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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by Musta bin Elbowed » Tue Jun 18, 2013 5:00 pm

I took the liberty of renting a DVD for the evening.

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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by Auf Wiedersehen, Pet » Tue Jun 18, 2013 5:07 pm

Arthur Pringle - "That'll be twenty four pounds seventy eight....or do you want me to contribute this to the strike fund?..."
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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by peng50 » Tue Jun 18, 2013 5:08 pm

Den: well it can't cost that much Neville
Neville: but it's in Belgium den
Den: But look on google earth man... It's
Nae further than Sunderland to Wembley

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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by Breaking Away » Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:11 pm

Nev:Dearest Brenda, we have know arrived
Brenda: Good. Now perhaps you can harden the f*** up and not ring me every five minutes
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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by HerrPfister » Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:49 am

Breaking Away wrote:Nev:Dearest Brenda, we have know arrived
Brenda: Good. Now perhaps you can harden the f*** up and not ring me every five minutes
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by dan slider » Wed Jun 19, 2013 10:19 am

Neville "Oz man have you heard about Wayne & Barry"
Oz "Shush, whoo man im nearly at my personal best on Farmville" :D
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Hey thats a canny jumper man!

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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by HerrPfister » Wed Jun 19, 2013 10:35 am

Oz : 'Hello, InterContinental?' ...
(aside, to Neville) : 'Ah, bloody automated reply, man.' (listens)
Presses 1
*swears*
Presses 1 again.
Waits...
Presses 3.
Waits

'Ah, sod this, man. Howay, lets have anotha roond.'

Gives up.

And Dennis gets his leg over. :D
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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by dan slider » Wed Jun 19, 2013 11:07 am

I never thought you would get me poncing around a super market!
I mean, how do you work these automated self service things anyhow!?
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Hey thats a canny jumper man!

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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by Auf Wiedersehen, Pet » Wed Jun 19, 2013 11:15 am

Dennis - "Seventy pounds ninety four pence!....."
Oz - "That includes the bog roll....."



http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/bill ... -1900.html
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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by AlreetPal » Wed Jun 19, 2013 12:17 pm

It wouldn't have been Harry Blackburn turning up as the plumber, he'd probably be called Piotr Lewandosvki.
Shut ya yak will ya man, you snivelling little git.


We're sophisticated blokes us, ya know.

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Re: If series 1 and 2 were filmed today

Post by AlreetPal » Wed Jun 19, 2013 12:20 pm

dan slider wrote:I never thought you would get me poncing around a super market!
I mean, how do you work these automated self service things anyhow!?

Certainly not, Dennis would go online and get it delivered. Every little helps ya na.
Shut ya yak will ya man, you snivelling little git.


We're sophisticated blokes us, ya know.

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