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Neville and Dennis

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Neville and Dennis

Post by Hallwood » Wed Jul 14, 2021 8:52 am

Neville & Dennis

Dennis walks into the lounge bar of the Wheatsheaf pub. Neville is sitting down at a table near the bar, nursing half a pint of lager and looking pensive. Neville looks up and sees Dennis at the bar. He gives him a wave, and Dennis walks over to him with two pints in his hands. He sits down in front of Neville, placing the pints in front of him and Neville.

DENNIS: Hallo, Neville, I got your message. What’s up?

NEVILLE: Hi Dennis. Ah, I’m just fed up, man. I need someone to talk to.

DENNIS: Why, what’s up? Is it Brenda?

NEVILLE: No, Brenda’s fine. It’s this job I’ve got at the moment, that new school in Byker. We’re nearly finished, and I’ve got no more work lined up. Me and Brenda are struggling as it is, and I’m just really worried about the future.

DENNIS: Aye, it’s pretty desperate right now. Everyone’s feeling the squeeze.

NEVILLE: I suppose so. Hey, how’s your business going? I don’t suppose you need an assistant?

Dennis looked down at his pint, and looked back at Neville.

DENNIS: I’m afraid not, bonny lad. Work’s just trickling in just now. The odd wall that needs building, fences that need repaired because some mindless yobs have kicked them in with their Doc Marten boots. There’s barely enough for me, and even that won’t cover the next VAT bill. I’m thinking of chucking it in, to be honest.

NEVILLE: Sorry, Dennis. I just thought I would ask, like.

Dennis sighed.

DENNIS: I kna, I kna. I don’t blame you. You’re not the first to ask, and I daresay you won’t be the last.

NEVILLE: I’m sorry for putting my problems onto you, Dennis, when you’ve got problems of your own. It’s just that I’ve got no-one else to talk to. I don’t want to worry Brenda.

A tear came to Neville’s eyes as he thought of his beautiful bride Brenda.

NEVILLE: I’m just worried she might leave us, Dennis. Ah can’t provide for her, and she’ll probably go away and find someone that can. And I wouldn’t blame her.

DENNIS: Hey, don’t talk like that. “For better, for worse, for richer and poorer”. That’s what you said to each other on your wedding day. I was there. Listen, nobody’s marriage is all sunshine and roses. Everyone goes through tough times, and they get through it together. Something will turn up.

NEVILLE: Aye, you’re right, Dennis. I’m sorry. Just ignore me, I’m just feeling sorry for meself.

DENNIS: Why aye, lad. No need to apologise.

Dennis sat up in his chair and lit a cigarette.

DENNIS: Actually, I’ve been thinking of going back to Germany. To work. A mate of mine has just got back from a site in Dusseldorf, and he says that they’re crying out for British brickies.

NEVILLE: Oh aye? I remember you saying you’d been there before. What’s the money like over there?

DENNIS: It’s alright. I mean, it’s not big bucks, but you don’t have to pay tax or national insurance. Mind, it’s no picnic there. It can be a nightmare if you don’t like your co-workers, or if the gaffer doesn’t take to you. And they’re not exactly a barrel of laughs, your German gaffers.

Neville imagined a German site manager as being like one of those German wartime sergeants he’d seen in films and read about in books. All “achtung! Donner und blitzen!”

NEVILLE: Aye, but it’s work, isn’t it? And there’s not much of that around here.

DENNIS: You thinking of going?

NEVILLE: Well, it’s an idea.

DENNIS: Mind, it’d mean not seeing Brenda for months. And your mam.

NEVILLE: I don’t really have much choice, though. It’s no fun living in a pokey one-bedroom flat with a cracked window and a draught coming in under the kitchen door. And me and Brenda want to start a family. We can’t bring a bairn up there.

DENNIS: Well, have a think about it. And talk to your Brenda about it.

NEVILLE: I will. So, what’s it like working in Germany?

DENNIS: Well, me mate was saying that it’s good crack. There’s a hostel nearby where the English workers stay, with a swimming pool and video arcades, and a bar. I’ve been to Dusseldorf before, and it’s great for the nightlife, plenty of bars in the Altstadt. Hey, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t speak German, the Erics speak perfect English.

NEVILLE: Who’s Eric?

Dennis chuckled to himself.

DENNIS: That’s what we call the Germans. “Erics”. Because if we want to talk about them behind their back, then we just call them Eric, and they think we’re talking about someone called Eric.

NEVILLE: Ah, I get you. Right, well, I’ve got to go. Thanks for the advice, Dennis.

DENNIS: No problem, lad. If you need me to have a word with Brenda about working in Germany, then just give us a bell. I kna it sounds daunting, but just you think about that new house you’ll be able to buy, with plenty of room and a big garden for little Neville junior to run around in!

NEVILLE: Aye! Well, thanks again, Dennis. I'll let you know what we decide to do.

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Re: Neville and Dennis

Post by Musta bin Elbowed » Wed Jul 28, 2021 6:46 am

*fade to black*

"Dearest Brenda, we are now at sea..."

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Re: Neville and Dennis

Post by Tracy » Thu Jul 29, 2021 2:34 am

Awe that's bostin that is ! DL

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