Martin McKeand: 'A Haze of Beer and Schnapps
Fumes...’ Part One.
Series producer of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet Martin McKeand
has written a piece for the Fansite to celebrate 35
extraordinary years of Britain’s #1 ITV Comedy Drama!
From those first memories in Hamburg, Dusseldorf and
Elstree to those final scenes shot on the back of a Yacht in
Marbella. with his good friend and AWP director Roger
Bamford. We were so excited about Martin getting involved
that this is the first of several pieces that he’s kindly agreed
to write for the Official Fansite!
Copyright: The following images, articles and text are copyright awpet.com.
Site Release Date: 11th November 2018
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First, it's
extraordinary to think
it is 35 years since all
that happened! Of
course though some
memories are crystal
clear some are lost in
a haze of beer and schnapps fumes. And as someone
once said of the sixties, "If you can remember them you
weren't there".
The first image that always comes to my mind is from
those early days of location shooting in Hamburg, in a
rather luxurious hotel bar, Jimmy Nail musing aloud:
"Amazing really, me, a humble welder, plucked from
obscurity and surrounded by glamorous boilers." This
line not written by Clement or La Frenais, but from the
man who later created and wrote "Spender". And there
was the occasion when for some reason the armed
Hamburg police decided to raid the hotel where most of
the cast and crew were staying, looking for some
miscreant who was wisely hiding out in a cupboard in
Ray Winstone's room. Ray had a part in only one episode
("The Fugitive") but because of the way shooting is
scheduled, he became an almost permanent cast
member. Ray of course has gone on to become one of the
UK's leading actors, specialising in "hard man" roles, but
in real life he was a friendly and jovial member of the
gang.
Then there was the
occasion when
somebody brought
two ladies of the night
back to the hotel with
him. To the night
porter's protests he
replied: "I don't see what your problem is, pal, it's me
who's got to f**k 'em, not you". After which I was called
into the hotel manager's office. "In our country people
who make films are artists, civilised people. This does not
seem to be true of some of your group. I must ask you all
to leave." Fortunately after much discussion we were
allowed to stay.
This of course was after the very first day of shooting
which occurred on the Harwich - Hook of Holland ferry,
where we see Neville penning the first of his "Dear
Brenda" postcards. Neville (Kevin Whately) almost hadn't
made the boat - he had called the production office two
days before asking "Do I need a passport to go to
Europe...?" Somebody worked wonders and he was able
to travel.
After ten days filming in Hamburg we returned to Blighty
for studio shooting in Elstree where the "German Building
Site" was under construction. What used to happen was
that we would rehearse scenes for a few days then go
into the studio or onto the "German Building Site" to
shoot them. On the
first day of rehearsal
everybody was there
except Jimmy. Urgent
calls were made,
nobody had seen him.
Somebody had the
idea of phoning the
nicks and police
stations in the Newcastle area. "No, we haven't seen him
for some time, it's been very quiet". I couldn't help
wondering if Jimmy had had enough of acting and being
surrounded by glamorous boilers, and gone back to a life
of enjoyable obscurity on Tyneside. How little I knew the
man. An hour later he wandered insouciantly into the
rehearsal room, a train had been delayed. He was never
late again.
And talking of this process, rehearsing then shooting, it
might happen that we might rehearse a scene some time
before it was shot. And here I pay tribute to my friend
and colleague, director Roger Bamford, who had the
most phenomenal memory. When shooting a scene on a
boat in Marbella, Spain, he said to an actor "But in the
rehearsal (three months ago in England) you moved from
here to here, and paused a second before you said the
line." A great director, all actors loved him. Without him
it would have been a different and probably less
interesting show.
And talking of the strange way in which filming is
scheduled, there is a scene where Barry goes through a
door, and emerges on the other side two stone heavier.
Maybe 'The Fansite Team' will offer a prize to whoever
spots it. But I see we are only into the first month of
production, and if I go on at this rate I might as well write
a book. But who would read it ?
When I met people for
the first time and they
asked what I have done
they would say "That's a
terrific show, I love it".
Then later: "My Mam
and Dad really loved
that show" and more recently "My Grandma really used
to love it". But in the words of Samuel Beckett ( now he
could have written some great AWP scripts ) "Try again
but better ".
When the first series was finished, the people who ran
Central Television decided they didn't like it. We had been
promised a cove rand major promotion in the TV Times.
Instead we got a short column inside the paper, but still 6
million people watched it. Then after six weeks the series
was taken off and turgid drama with a very strongly
feminist story line was put on in its place - for what
purpose I know not. Anyway as it turned out we had been
done a favour, when we were put on again word was out
and our viewing figures were now 15 million plus.
Unthinkable in these days. Meanwhile the same f**kwits
at Central Television were too nervous to commit to
another series.
This gives rise to another story which actually became
part of a lawsuit bought by Jimmy Nail against the News
of the World. Throughout the first series Jimmy had worn
a leather jacket provided by the wardrobe department. At
the end of production, and because Central hadn't
committed to a second series,the wardrobe department
had a sale. Jimmy bought the jacket. This for some
reason got turned into some vile "Jimmy Nail Greed"
piece in the 'News of the World' along with various other
stories, and Jimmy took them to court and won. It was
Central's nervousness which led to the long delay
between series one and two. By the time they were ready,
the actors had mostly got involved in other projects and
it took nearly two years to get everything together again.
Plus, we had burned down "the hut", and it was no longer
appropriate to set the show in Germany.
So Clement, La Frenais, Roger Bamford, Stan Hey and I
set off for the "Costa del Crime" to see what there was to
see down there. See Stan's piece written here a little time
back for a description of that trip. My main memory is
that it rained pretty well all the time we were down there,
not a promising start to series two......
The Auf Wiedersehen, Pet team would personally
like to thank Martin for taking the time to write
for the Fansite.
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet 1983 - 2018